I’m fresh off my first wedding season and I have so many thoughts and stories I want to share. One day I hope to have an internship program for new planners and coordinators, but for now, a blog post will do. I’ve been reflecting back on the very first wedding I coordinated this past summer and here are the 5 things I wish I would have known before this special day.

1. Hire assistants you vibe with. This wedding made me realize that an assistant could be the difference between me looking back and saying “that wedding was dope” or “that wedding day absolutely sucked.” Halfway through this wedding season, I hired an assistant, Lo, who is my favorite human alive. As much as I know I am capable of, I cannot do everything myself on a wedding day. There’s not enough time and I don’t have enough arms. Not only can I trust Lo to do get things done and take initiative, but we have a BLAST at every wedding. Wedding days are incredibly long. I’m talking 12-14 hours long. And Lo has a positive attitude throughout the entire day. It’s a lot easier to stay positive when your right hand woman is engaged and smiling the entire time.

2. Ask all the questions you have! As a new Coordinator, my biggest fear was that other vendors would talk with each other about how inexperienced I was. (I know I’m self-centered and think everyone is talking about me all the time – I’m working on it…kinda). Because of this insecurity I was hesitant to ask questions because I didn’t want anyone to think I was dumb or didn’t know what I was doing. However, I have an even bigger fear of not being prepared. At the end of the day, my fear of being unprepared trumped my insecurity of feeling dumb. So, my advice to you is – if you have a question, just ask it. It’s better to be over prepared and ask a question so you are 100% certain about everything than to be scrambling at the last minute. Confirm what each vendor is responsible for, so you know where their responsibilities end and yours start.

3. Set up takes longer than you think. Whatever amount of time you think it is going to take for set up – double it. Heck, even triple it. Due to my controlling personality and fear of being unprepared, I had created the most thorough set up plan down to the minute with pictures and diagrams. It was so detailed, my assistants for the day could follow it without asking me questions. I’m so happy I went a little over board with this and cringe thinking about what would have happened if I didn’t have a plan. After a full wedding season, I’m finally able to realistically plan how long it will take me to set up based on what other vendors are setting up, the timeline, who is setting up tables and chairs and how much DIY there is. But to start – give yourself extra time for set up.

4. Take care of the vendors. Yes, my main focus is the couple – but vendors need to be fed, hydrated, and have a set space they can take a break in and eat. I previously shadowed a planner and for some reason one thing that stuck with me was she went around asking if the other vendors needed water. I almost felt a bit ridiculous doing this at my first wedding, but it went a long way and people noticed. I regularly check in with the vendors throughout the day to see if they need anything. Make sure the DJ gets some dessert since they’re usually stuck at their station during the reception. Make sure the photographers and videographers actually sit down and eat while the couple is eating. Go above and beyond. If the vendors are happy, you’re going to be happy.

5. Things won’t go 100% to plan. And that’s okay. I am critical of myself so of course I obsess over tiny things that don’t go exactly as planned. Some of those things I genuinely don’t have control over. I spent hours putting together this incredibly detailed timeline and I had to adjust it constantly throughout the wedding day. I prepare enough beforehand so I have solutions to problems as they arise – but stuff will come up and you’ll have to think on your feet, make executive decisions and do it all with a smile on your face so no one knows you’re internally freaking out.

Happy planning!